As a mom to three biracial/mixed children (Jamaican and Filipino), you never know who’s hair texture each child will get until it starts to grow out. I grew up with straight hair and all I needed was a brush or comb to get rid of my tangles after shampooing and conditioning my hair. My hubby grew up with the curls but kept it short for most of his life.
Our oldest (daughter) got the mix of both worlds of medium curls, our middle (daughter) got hubby’s tight curls and our youngest (son) got my hair texture with a touch of loose curls as it grows out. My son’s hair is easiest to care as he has my texture. My husband would bring him the barber and get his head shaved low during the Spring and Summer months. The only time he has a lot of hair is during Fall and Winter and the only time his hair is cut during those cold months is around his birthday and some kind of special occasion.
There are expections of me that I am “to know” how to take care of their hair because I am a woman and a mother. In all honesty that was a reality check. I had no clue how to take care of medium and tight curls, I only knew how to care for my straight hair that I would either use a brush for a wash and go look, a hair straightener for more of a defined straight hair look and hot rollers or curling irons to get a curly or wavy style.
The older my two daughters became, their hair got longer, thicker, and curlier. It would become knotted and matted at times because I wasn’t caring for it properly. My girls rarely wore their hair down. I would use hair cream or moroccan oil form time to time and their hair was always brushed out and put into one big ponytail because it was the easy way to do it during the week. Even on my days off, I would try and comb out their hair – and that involved TONS of tears. It was not the easiest and all of us would get frustrated after trying to comb out the matted, knotted, and tangled pieces.
At one point (before the start of the school year last year and while I was at work) my husband took the scissors and chopped of a big portion of a younger daughter’s hair because it was so tangled with product build up and the amount to time that we were using to detangle it had become hopeless. My daughter was happy that she no longer had to deal with that portion of her hair and I felt very guilty because I didn’t care for her hair properly.
I was given very few tips+tricks on how to care for their hair when they were younger. For example, no one told me that I could go 2-4 weeks without shampooing their hair as it tends to dry out. And moisture … that was a tip I had to learn the hard way. I was told by some that my girls would need a lot of moisture in their hair. I thought that meant double the amount of conditioner than my own Toonie sized amount that I used. Boy was I wrong about that. I found out that I needed much more than that.
I bought and tried so many products. They either didn’t work, or I wasn’t using them properly. I also refuse to use any relaxers due to their age. I have nothing against relaxers, it’s just a choice that I have made. If they choose to use it when they get older, I have no problem with that, but for now, I just want them to love their natural hair and learn to care for it.
My daughters recently had the chance to have their hair done by BlushPretty Lead Hair Artist, Samantha Wilson. The amount tips and advice that I received that day is something that I took very seriously and I planned to use them right away and going forward.
Here are some of the useful tips that she gave me:
– don’t rinse out all of the conditioner: keep conditioner at the ends of the hair to help prevent it from drying out;
– use a deep conditioning treatment at least once a month to help keep the hair soft and manageable: the use of hair conditioner is not needed if a treatment is being used at the time;
– part hair in 4 sections so it’s easier when combing out the hair: This will help to prevent pulling at the hairline when combing out the hair;
– massage scalp daily: to help with a sensitive scalp;
– twist hair into pieces when combing out tangles: it will prevent tears and pulling at the scalp;
– use hair products made for mixed/biracial hair: it will make a difference as the formulation is made for their hair type; and
– sleep on a satin pillow case or sleep cap: this will help to prevent breakage and further damage.
All the tips that Samantha shared with me gives to me a lot of hope that I can care of my children’s hair better with a lot less tears and more understanding that will in turn, help them learn how to care of their own hair too.
If you’re a struggling mom like me just trying to figure out your mixed kids hair, please feel free to reach out to the BlushPretty team and Samantha to learn more!